Is Your Husband In Charge?
If your husband in charge? If you are a submissive wife, you should be following his lead. So we should let him make all the decisions. This is one of our most important rules as submissive wives.
In today’s times the word submission has become so controversial that its almost taboo. As a result, women are told to be independent and make their own decisions. Even worse, women are encouraged NOT to be submissive and not let anyone tell them what to do. However, as submissive wives, we are far far FAR from this line of thought.
What’s your concern about being submissive?
Do you object to your husband being in charge? Sometimes there are fears when relinquishing control such as loss of independence, loss of free will, loss of individuality, being seen as weak and the list goes on. Don’t fear losing your voice or that your opinion does not matter. Don’t think about it at all in terms of losing anything. Focus on the benefits and what you will gain. Express your love and devotion by following as he leads.
Think of it this way…
At your job you have a boss that may tell you when to come to work, when to go home, when to go on break, what to wear (dress code), and what you can and cannot do while on the clock. It’s not because you are less of a person, its not because you are not valuable to the company, its not because you are not an individual with opinions, and its definitely not because you are weak. It’s because your boss has a role and a job to do and so do you.
If there are no rules OR if everybody gets to set their own rules and make their own decisions, there would be chaos and turmoil constantly. So in order for the team to run smoothly and effectively, everyone has to do their assigned role and someone has to be in charge.
What to do next:
Apply this line of thought to you and your husband. He is the boss, he is in charge, he is responsible for the ship running smoothly, and so he makes all the decisions. If you are saying to yourself “but my husband never makes any decisions” then that means you are making too many. It’s got to be hard for him to be a leader of a household when you are calling no shots. Clearly, t’s hard to make decisions if you’re not really in charge. It’s time for you to step out of the way and let him lead.
In order to be a loyal part of the team, you have to do your part, acknowledge his lead, and respect and follow his decisions. This is why submission is the ultimate form of trust and respect. It is sacrificing self and agreeing to follow the leadership of another person. This works because of your confidence in his abilities and that he has your best interest at heart.
What kind of decisions should he make?
It should be noted that your husband makes decisions big and small…
➡️ he decides on the movie
➡️ he decides on the monthly budget
➡️ he decides what you do for date night
➡️ he decides whether or not to go visit the in laws
➡️ he decides on the decides on the punishment for the kids
➡️ he decides when and where you go on your next vacation
If he makes no decisions, the question is why. Is it because it will start an argument with you? Is it because you won’t listen and do the opposite anyway? Is it because you will make him pay for it if he does? Whatever the reason is, start changing that today.
What to do if your husband is not in charge?
So after learning more the question is: is your husband in charge? If not, start now to change that. Watch the movie he picks, cook the dinner he wants, be ready ON TIME when he wants to go out, wear what he likes to see you in, and look how he likes to see you…with a smile. Ultimately, you acknowledge his leadership by obeying without getting angry, without arguments, without throwing a temper tantrum, and without having an attitude.
No using manipulation tactics, no giving the silent treatment, or any other forms of acting out or undercover protest used to get your way. Trying to influence or sway his decisions is a move to actually control him and that is not what we do. This is trying to lead from behind which really is not submissive at all. Show your husband that you recognize him as your leader by showing him that you accept him as the decision maker…YOUR decision maker.
Commit yourself to being a humble servant. Also, commit to allowing him to make all the decisions. Finally, commit yourself to accepting and following his decisions without hesitation or reservation.
If you want other resources to help learn more about being a submissive wife, check out our recommended reading list of books on submission and marriage.